Little Truths

No matter where you are - the refugee slums of DRC or the glossy building of a private hospital - there is one shared truth: a person can inadvertently pass gas when they relax their pelvic muscles to pee.

Was not referring to myself, of course.

Reading the previous post has led to one conclusion. I'm not built for commuting. Not. At. All. The daily two hours spent going back and forth to work does not do good things for me. I get tired, cranky, moody and the overall feeling of bleargh. Leave at 7 a.m, home by 7.30 p.m. Why so late? Because the one time I left work at 4.40 p.m, it took me 1 hour and 45 minutes to get home. I rather bum around at work until 6.30 before joining the other poor suckers paying $5 for the privilege of going 20kph on the motorway. I don't mind driving. It's the being stationary and the stop-starts that gets me mad. If people ever bother to look at me in the driver's seat, they will see a fat Asian chick yelling at the top of her voice - WHY AREN'T WE MOVING YOU *crikey dingo*. Among other things.

So I talk to myself. So I sing to myself, yell at myself, crack myself up with my own lame jokes and at corny tv ads, and cry at random moments. Does that make me weird? Yes. Does that bother me? Occasionally but it's getting less and less so. Sometimes, I forget that I can't do things like that in public. People don't generally stare but they move away a little. Just a little. I guess it makes me feel sad from time to time because it not exactly what I imagined life to be. Maybe I had high expectations, deluded in believing I was going to be 'somebody' and that I had what it takes to be a dynamic, successful person. The crash into reality has been painful but with time, I have to believe that I will come to accept this path and be comfortable in it.

Stuck in that 105 minute drive home, two friendly little girls in a small car driven by a (what I imagine to be) tired mother were waving at everyone in the surrounding vehicles. Many ignored them. I waved back which garnered a an enthusiastic double-arm wave in response. That made me lighten up. You can't be grumpy in the face of such good-nature.