Anybody Listening?

As I sit here at 12.30 a.m surrounded by junk in a filthy house having had McDonalds for dinner I have to wonder - what's the point?

For the past few days I've been melancholic. I miss having a conversation, you know? Just talking. The way I do with friends from back home, my family. To be understood despite my accent, despite my less than perfect grammar. I miss knowing that I can speak my mind and not having to worry how others will perceive it. Not having to carefully shape my thoughts lest I cause offence.

I miss having company. Going out with other people on weekends. Not that I did that a lot to begin with, but this year I have only been out twice. That's right, twice with other people. Every other time I am on my own. Sometimes, that's a nice thing because to be with some one other than the people I care and trust is something I find exhausting. But other times. If only they were here, oh how much fuller my life would be.

So I sit here. Alone in the middle of the night. Talking to myself. No one to hear. No one to see.

Good night.